What If - Puck
by Serene80
Summary: What if Puck were to come out to his ma as bi, and she kicked him out. What if he hurts himself and Kurt finds him. What if Puck has some confessions for his favorite diva... Part one of a trilogy. See inside for warnings. Rated T for semi-graphic details of a suicide attempt.


This is a pre-prequel to a story inspired by the episode 'On My Way'. This story and the next are Puckurt, but the third (and ironically, first started) is Puckurtofsky/Purtofsky... Yes, you heard right. :D

This story is rated T for mentions of a suicide attempt, blood, and kissing. Lots and lots and lots of kissing. Like, a lot of kissing.

And some more kissing...

_(A HUGE thanks to the anonymous reviewer that corrected my little French bit. Google translate only goes so far. Thanks much, darlin, whoever you are.)_

* * *

**What If: Puck**

**Chapter One**

To say the least, Kurt was more than a little miffed at having to pause his Project Runway rerun to answer the door. He was even more unhappy when he saw who was on the other side.

"What do you want, Puckerman? The nearest dumpster is a good half mile from here."

Puck, who'd had a small smile on his face, instantly glared at him. "Stuff it, Princess. I haven't given you a dumpster dive in over a year. Finn called and asked me..."

He froze and, if Kurt hadn't been watching him so closely he would have missed it, flinched as he looked deeper into the house. "Hey, Kurt, who's here?"

Kurt turned to look back at his dad as he stuck his head out of the kitchen. "Puck. He said Finn called him... And stay out of those cookies. I know how many I baked, and they already have homes."

Kurt and Burt both missed the subtle tightening of Puck's shoulders before Burt disappeared back into the kitchen, mumbling something under his breath. Kurt turned back to Puck, frowning but stepping out of the doorway. "He's up the stairs. Back right corner."

As Puck raced up the stairs and Kurt went back into the living room, he wondered what that flinch had been about, but put it out of his mind as he restarted the show.

Three hours later, after his dad and Carole had already gone to bed, Kurt was half asleep as Finn walked Puck to the door. He assumed Finn thought he was asleep, because the giant was whispering. "... riding on her broom again? Sure you don't wanna stay here?"

Puck whispered back, even more quietly. "Nah. S'all good. Sara's at Becca's for the night, and I'll just stay in San's spare room. Mother Mari's been complaining about me not being over anymore."

"Ok, dude. Just remember, I'm here if you need me, same as always."

Kurt rolled his eyes as Puck scoffed. "You're such a freaking girl sometimes, Hudson." There was a short pause and, when he whispered again, it was with more emotion than Kurt had ever heard unless Puck was singing. "Thanks, man, for... Shit. Just, thanks, dude."

He drifted off to sleep on the couch, confused over the conversation, but not caring enough to ask.

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The next time Kurt saw Puck was a week later, the day of his return to McKinley. He walked into the choir room looking for Mr Schue, and all he saw was someone with a very fine ass bent over a guitar case. At first he thought it was one of the band geeks, until the other teen stood and a distinctive mohawk made an appearance. He was about to back out of the room as soundlessly as possible, but Puck turned and saw him.

"'S'up, Hummel? Kinda glad you're back, dude." Kurt raised an eyebrow at that. "I was getting sick of Berry and Aretha whining."

It wasn't until he'd grabbed his guitar case and was walking out the door that Kurt realized two things. One, he was frozen to the spot like an idiot. And, two, Puck's tight white wife-beater and carpenter jeans did an amazing job of highlighting the muscles the other teen had developed in the last few months. He was almost shocked when he felt his body stirring, silently berating himself. _No, no, no, we are not doing this again. Stop now! We are not going to be getting hooked on any more straight jocks._

He was so thrown off that he didn't even have time to complain about being called dude. Realizing he was gaping like a fish, he shut his mouth and left the room, deciding to ignore the incident like it never happened.

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After that first night, Kurt started to notice a pattern. Finn seemed to call Puck over almost every Friday and Saturday night. When he asked Finn about it, he just shrugged and said they'd been doing it for years.

It wasn't until about the third week that Kurt started to feel more at ease around the former bully. Puck hadn't slushied or dumpster dived him in over a year, but the threat had always been there just under the surface... at least in Kurt's mind.

Kurt had been in the living room going through the many pictures he had stored on his laptop while his room aired out after he'd painted one of the walls a very nice blue, while Finn and Puck were on the couch watching The Expendables. He would deny it until the end of time, but Kurt watched out of the corner of his eye every time Dolph Lundgren or Jason Statham were on screen.

He almost chuckled when he heard Puck grumbling and looked up. Finn was passed out against his friend's shoulder, looking even more innocent in his sleep. "No damn stamina at all. Not sure how the hell he keeps up with Berry and her insanity."

He did chuckle then. "Why do you think he _takes_ so many naps?"

Puck jumped a little, like he'd forgotten Kurt was in the room, and looked over at the slim teen. "You chatting with the Hobbit or something? You've sure been quiet."

Kurt was about to snap that it was none of Puck's business... but then his tone of voice registered. He hadn't sounded insulting at all. In fact, he actually sounded curious. "I'm going through some of the pictures from my phone. Organizing and whatnot. I have a four gig card and realized it was almost full."

"Cool. Mind if I see?" Puck sounded... hopeful... and Kurt realized he couldn't say no. Once again fighting the strange attraction to the darker teen, Kurt turned the laptop so they could both see.

There was a picture of two teens on the screen, one black and the other Asian. They were wearing the Dalton uniform and grinning at the camera. The black teen had his arm around the other kid's waist, and it was obvious they were in love. "That's Wes and David. They're in the Warblers. I took that the day after Wes, he's the Asian, came out and they officially started dating. Gaga, they're so happy it's almost gross."

Puck reached for the mouse as Kurt moved his hand away, and they both froze for a second as an electric tingle shot between them. Kurt pulled his hand back with a small gasp as that tingle went right to the last place in the world he wanted it to go... especially not with Puck in the room with him. That was just an invitation to a beating if there ever was one.

Puck mistook the gasp, expression hardening even as Kurt could see hurt flash through his eyes. "Relax, damnit. I'm not gonna beat you up because our fingers accidentally touch."

"No. No, that wasn't it, Puck. I was just a little... shocked. Nobody outside the family ever touches me, even by accident, so it kinda threw me off. Don't wanna 'catch the gay' you know."

Kurt wasn't able to read the expression that crossed Puck's face for just a fraction of a second before it relaxed into a half-smile again. "S'all good, dude." As he looked back at the screen, Puck gave a little laugh, clicking on a picture of a beautiful little clearing. "I see I'm not the only one that found it."

"I found it last summer, completely by accident. I'm not in the habit of wandering aimlessly through the woods, but I'm glad I found the clearing. Ever since then, I go there on rough days. I went there a lot last fall."

"I go there when I'm thinking about Beth. Slept there a few nights too when shit..." Puck stopped talking, realizing he'd almost talked about something he _never_ spoke about. Even with Finn. Finn knew, but they never actually _talked_ about it.

Kurt was about to question him about it, telling himself it was just out of boredom and not because he was crushing on yet another (straight) jock, but the front door flew open and then was slammed shut as his father stormed in. If Kurt hadn't already been looking at Puck, he would have missed it. For just a fraction of a second, his eyes darted around the room... almost like he was looking for somewhere to hide.

Not knowing why he did it, Kurt reached out and laid a comforting hand on Puck's wrist. The other teen didn't say anything, just looked down at that delicate white hand like he was in complete shock.

"I know you'll be pissed off later that I noticed that, so I'll never, ever bring it up again, but I just want to let you know that he'll never, ever hurt you. This house is a _safe_ place."

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Something wasn't right. Something really wasn't right. Kurt sat next to Blaine in the Lima Bean, sipping his non-fat mocha grande while Blaine added yet _more_ cinnamon to his coffee. After an eternity, Blaine seemed to settle something in his mind. Breaking his own 'no PDA' rule, he reached out and gently took Kurt's hand, smiling softly.

"This isn't working, is it?" Kurt jumped, startled, ready to protest, but Blaine kept speaking. "You love me... I know this. I love you too, but I think we both need to admit that we love each other like friends... like brothers. I love you so much, Kurt, but I'm not _in love_ with you... and you're not _in love_ with me either."

"I... you... umm..." Kurt blinked tear-glazed eyes and looked down at their joined hands.

"Relax, Kurt. We'll still be friends. We'll always be friends, but there's someone else that's in love with you, and I can see you being in love with him too. We're... we're too much alike."

Kurt was silent for another minute before letting out a shuddering breath. "I think I've been... procrastinating? Putting off the inevitable because I'm afraid to be alone again, but I think you're right. Why are you always the wise one?"

Blaine just smiled and stirred his coffee.

* * *

**Chapter Two: Saturday, June 4****th****, 2011, 2:14pm**

Kurt was busy getting himself a mid-afternoon snack of veggies and fat-free dip, and nearly dropped the plate when the house phone started ringing. Since they'd started getting harassing phone calls during the whole 'Defying Gravity' incident, the number had been changed and was unlisted. Very few people even had the number, and most of them should be at work.

With a reluctant sigh, just knowing the harassing calls were going to start again, he moved to the phone and answered it. "Hello. Hudson-Hummel residence."

After a few seconds, just as he was about to hang up, a little girl spoke in a scared voice. "Hello. Is Finn-Finn there?"

"No, honey, Finn's not here. I'm his brother though. Who are you? Are you ok?"

He could hear her sniffling now. When she started speaking, it was so fast he had trouble catching most of it. "I... I'm Sarah P-Puckerman. I'm ok, but NoNo isn't. Him and ma had a huge fight and she called him really mean, mean things and hit him and told him to get out and never come back and now I'm scared and..."

"Whoa, Sarah, slow down for a second, honey. Let me make sure I heard you right. Noah's your brother, and he and your mom had a fight. She called him a lot of mean words and hit him, and then told him not to come back. Is that right?"

"Uh-huh. That was at lunch time and he's been gone for hours and he's not answering his phone. I'm really scared."

"Ok, Sarah, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to call Finn, and we're going to find Noah, ok? I'll call you as soon as I find out where he is. Get a pen and write down my cell number so you can call me if you hear from him."

Less than ten minutes later, he'd called Finn, his parents, and all of the Gleeks still in town over summer break, and was on the way out the door to start his own search.

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**Saturday, June 4****th****, 2011, 6:47pm**

Kurt and everyone else had searched everywhere they could think of. McKinley had been searched three times even, by Finn, Tina, and Lauren. Then, from out of nowhere, Kurt remembered the conversation he and Puck had a few weeks before, when they'd been looking at his pictures. Puck had laughed, pointing to a picture of a clearing and saying it was his favorite place to go on bad days. Kurt had said it was his favorite place to go and relax too. It was completely hidden unless you knew it was there or stumbled on it by accident.

Afraid that Puck might do something utterly stupid, Kurt raced for the park, thanking Prada for his Fuzzbuster since he broke almost every traffic law ever written on the way there. Barely taking time to shut his Navigator off, he flew into the woods, heart pounding so hard it thundered in his ears. As he got closer to the clearing, he started fervently praying to a god he didn't believe in. He could smell blood... a lot of it.

Slowing down to almost a crawl, he moved through the last few feet of woods, hoping he was just imagining the smell. Taking the last step around a huge oak, he nearly collapsed at the sight before him. The clearing was a gentle slope down to an unnamed little creek, and Puck was collapsed back onto the grass as two thin streams of blood flowed out of his wrists and down to the water.

Kurt rushed to his side, heedless of the blood, and frantically checked his throat for a pulse. It was barely there, but he still let out a sigh of relief. Straddling Puck's hips so he could reach both wrists, he sacrificed his scarf, pulling the knife out of Puck's limp hand and cutting the silk in two before wadding the pieces up and applying pressure to the wounds.

Several minutes later, Puck slowly came to with a moan, looking up at Kurt with hazy eyes. "Knew... you w're 'n angel."

Not acknowledging the confused mumble, Kurt checked his wrists again, happy that the river of blood had slowed to a trickle. Unwadding the scarf pieces, he quickly tied them around Puck's wrists as tightly as possible. Tight enough, actually, that Puck let out a small cry of pain. Kurt was quite strong from working in his father's garage for years. Tires don't lift themselves after all.

Once he was finished, Kurt shook Puck's shoulder to get his attention. His face was horribly bruised, and one eye was completely swollen shut. "Puck, look at me." That one hazel eye slowly met his. "I need to get you to the hospital. You have to help me get you up."

"No. Wan' lay here n' lookit you. So pretty. Pretty eyes. Pretty, pretty eyes. Lov' you, 'urt. Lov'd you sooo long." His one working eye turned so sad then. "Can' go home. Ma hates me. Told... told her was bi. Kick me out. Hates me."

Kurt pulled Puck up until he was basically sitting on his own. "You can come live with us, Puck. We love you and want you happy."

Puck slowly shook his head. "You don' unnerstan... I _love_ you, 'urt. Been n' love wi' you since start'd n' Glee."

"We can talk about that later, Puck. Come on now, big boy. On your feet." Puck slowly started to cooperate, weakly helping as Kurt lifted the taller boy to his feet. It took just about forever to walk the short distance to his Navigator, with Puck barely staying conscious.

When they finally reached the hospital, several nurses rushed out to the truck to get Puck, while Kurt filled out the paperwork. When they tried to stop him from going to Puck's room because he wasn't a blood relative, he gave them his patented ice-bitch glare. "My family and I are the only family he has now. He's here, in this condition, because his bitch of a mother kicked him out. Now, move out of my way before I call my uncle and get your fired."

"That right? Who's your uncle?"

"Chief Administrator Joe Lopez. Now move."

That got the nurse moving, and Kurt rushed back to Puck's room. Another nurse was trying to find a spot for an IV, while the doctor was looking at his wounds. Glad that he had made Puck and Finn sit down a few months before and enter emergency information into their phones, he reached into Puck's right jean pocket and pulled out his phone. Pulling up the saved information, he showed the phone to the doctor, who gave him an appreciative smile.

"Forget the O, Claire. Grab a couple units of A positive." He turned to look at Kurt. "Are you the one that found him?" Kurt just nodded. "Good job getting the bleeding stopped. A few more minutes and it might have been too late. I won't ask you to leave, but can you please stand in the corner so you're out of the way, just in case?"

Things moved quickly from there. The nurse started fluids and blood while the doctor quickly stitched the three inch long wound in each wrist. Finally remembering there were other people still searching, he pulled out his phone.

_To: Finn_

_Found Puck. Slit wrists. At Lima Memorial now. Dr says should be ok. Don't tell others for now. Moving in with us. Will explain later._

_To: Artie, Brit-Brit, Lauren, Rach, Satan, Tina_

_Found Puck. Mom kicked him out. Will be staying with us. Needs a few days peace. Will let you know when ok to visit. Thanks for all the help._

_To: Dad, Carole_

_Found Puck. Slit wrists. At Lima Memorial now. Dr says should be ok. Mom kicked him out. Moving in with us, right?_

Once he was done texting, he quickly put his phone on vibrate and turned his attention back to Puck. The doctor had wrapped his wrists and he was slowly waking up. The doctor left, promising to come back in a little while, and Kurt moved to Puck's side.

Puck struggled to speak, clearing his throat several times before Kurt figured out the problem. He quickly grabbed a glass of water and held it for Puck to take a few sips. "How did I get here? Last thing I remember is being in the clearing and..."

"And cutting your wrists like a _moron_." He gave Puck's arm a gentle squeeze, belying the harshness of his words. "Sarah called the house because you wouldn't answer your cell. We looked for you for like four and a half hours before I remembered the clearing and raced over there. You, by the way, are very talkative while dying from blood loss. We really, really need to talk when you're in better shape."

"Oh, god! What the hell did I say?"

Kurt laughed. "Well, first off you called me an angel. Then you told me I have pretty, pretty eyes. And then... then you said you loved me and had since you started Glee. Then you told me you couldn't go home because your mom hates you. That you came out to her as bi..."

Puck's free hand moved up to palm his face. "Oh, god. I'm _so_ sorry, Kurt. Please, don't hate me. I... I'll never say it again, I promise. I know you're, like, disgustingly in love with the Hobbit and could never want me anyway."

"Why wouldn't I want you?"

"'Cause I'm a Lima Loser and a whore and just pathetic. Hell, my own parents don't want me. The mother of my child doesn't want me. Nobody wants me. Why would someone as perfect as you want me?"

With a small smile, Kurt bent over and gently kissed Puck's full lips. "First of all, though I've called you a Lima Loser in the past, I never meant it. Not once. I knew it was the fastest way to hurt you when you were bullying me. Now that you're _not_ bullying me anymore, I actually really like you, Puck. I know you _were_ a whore. Past tense, and it doesn't matter. I'm one of the few people outside your client list that has figured it out. And... I'm not with Blaine anymore. We decided we make better friends than we ever did boyfriends. And believe me, I'm most definitely not perfect."

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I know you loved him."

"I did love him. Still do, but I was never _in_ love with him. I guess I was in love with the idea of him. He's happy with Sebastian now, and I'm happy that he's happy. Now, why don't you sleep for a while. I can see you fighting to stay awake. I'm not leaving... and you'll be moving in with us when they let you out of here, so you don't need to worry about that either."

Puck closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. As he watched over him, Kurt was amazed at how different Puck looked while sleeping. He looked so innocent, and Kurt could imagine him as a little kid, before his life had gone to shit. Puck didn't wake until he was moved up to a room for the twenty-four hour hold that the hospital required after all suicide attempts. Kurt didn't leave his side the whole time, except when Carole showed up after her shift and insisted that he go to the cafeteria to get some food.

While he was still in the hospital, Burt, Finn, Brittany, and Santana went to his mother's home and got all of his things. At least the ones she hadn't shredded. Fortunately, she'd left his guitar alone.

He may have actually committed murder if she hurt his Lola. It was the only thing he still had of his father's. The only thing of his father's that he'd ever actually wanted.

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**Monday, June 6th, 2011, 10:15am**

Kurt led Puck out of the hospital and to his Navigator. He'd only been released after they both promised that he'd see a shrink.

Still low on red blood cells, Puck was easily exhausted and collapsed onto the couch the second they got into the house. Kurt sat down next to him, snuggling against his larger frame, and lost himself in 'What Not To Wear' as Puck napped again.

When he woke up, Kurt gave him a smile before speaking. "I know you thought you were getting out of it, but I called and set up an appointment for you to see a shrink on Friday afternoon. Dad and Carole both made it a condition of your staying here. You don't have to keep going, but you have to go at least once. I did some research and found a guy that comes highly recommended by several different LGBT groups."

"You ever tell anyone this and I'll deny it to my dying day, but I think I do need to talk to someone." He paused, watching a Nike commercial for a minute. "Will... will you go out with me Friday night?"

"Yes, I'd love to go out with you Friday, Puck."

Puck stared down at his hands for a long minute before looking back at Kurt. "Can you do me a small favor?"

"Anything."

"Can... can you call me Noah? When we're alone at least? I don't wanna be Puck anymore. Hopefully Noah can be someone worthy of you."

Kurt stretched up from where he'd been laying with his head in Noah's lap and pulled the other teen's head down for a soft kiss. "I'd be honored, Noah."

The smile he got in return was absolutely blinding.

* * *

**Chapter Three: Friday, June 10****th****, 2011, 3:03pm**

Noah left the therapist's office, emotionally wrung out but much more comfortable in his own skin. Even he would admit that the hour had gone very well. They'd touched on his father's abandonment, his ma's drinking and throwing him out, his worries about Sarah being left alone with her, his guilt at bullying Kurt and the others, and his concerns about being bisexual in small town Ohio.

Kurt was waiting outside the office, and was completely shocked when Noah went up to the desk and set another appointment for the next Friday. The second they got into the Navigator, he was sound asleep and Kurt had to smile.

As he drove the short distance back home, he thought over the long conversations he and Noah had while he was still in the hospital, and the even longer ones they'd had since. The former bully had opened up completely to him, answering each and every question that Kurt had asked him with complete honesty.

It had been a lot for the slim teen to process, but everything he heard just explained 'Puck' more and more. By the time they'd even left the hospital, Kurt was amazed that Noah had only tried suicide once before.

It also made Kurt feel terribly guilty for hiding his own secret, but he knew and accepted that he would have to talk about it soon, before they could ever _hope_ to have a physical relationship, but he didn't want to give Noah any extra stress quite yet.

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**Friday, June 10th, 2011, 7:45pm**

Noah sat on the couch, practically twitching in anticipation as he waited for Kurt to come down from his room. Burt walked in with a serious look on his face, and Noah knew he was in for 'The Speech'. Burt sat down in his recliner and looked over at him.

"You know you're about to leave this house with the most precious thing in my life, right?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. You know I have a shotgun. You've helped me clean the thing. I won't hesitate to use it either, no matter how much I might like your ass, Mohawk. You already mean a lot more to Kurt than Blaine ever did, even though he won't admit it yet. Just... be careful with his heart."

Noah smiled at that. "I have no intention of ever hurting him. I've been completely in love with him for like a year and a half, but I couldn't find the balls to tell him. Apparently they were laying on the bank of a creek, and I could only see them after massive blood loss. If I have things my way, though, we'll grow old together. I'm just not gonna tell him that, 'cause he'll run for the hills."

"What'll make who run for the hills?" Kurt's soft voice asked from the doorway, making Noah jump.

Giving Burt a quick glance, Noah smiled. "If I tell Finn what score you got last night on Mario Kart. He thinks he's the best around."

Kurt knew he was lying, but he also knew that Noah wouldn't lie about anything important. Not anymore. Noah jumped off the couch and rushed over to him, giving him a soft kiss on the cheek. He would've kissed him until they were both gasping for breath, but Burt scared the hell out of him... at least where Kurt was concerned. "Princess, you look amazing."

He did too. He was dressed more simply than usual, but looked just as stunning as always in a loose turquoise sweater a shade darker than his eyes and the tightest white skinny jeans that Noah had _ever_ seen. Noah had dressed up a bit himself, and Kurt was suitably impressed. He was wearing a dark gray dress shirt and black slacks that hugged his ass in the most delicious way. Kurt also knew with absolute certainty that he was commando.

With a wicked grin, Kurt stood up on his toes to whisper in Noah's ear. "You do too. Now let's get out of here before he gets that shotgun he's so fond of."

They left the house laughing, hand in hand, and Burt couldn't help but smile behind them before pulling out his cell and sending them both a text.

_To: Kurt, Mohawk_

_It may be summer, but your curfew is still midnight and not one minute later._

Then he laughed and wandered up into his bedroom, knowing that Carole was waiting for him. Finn was out with Rachel, so they had the house to themselves for the first time in quite a while.

Unlike the dates Puck usually went on, they didn't go to Breadstix. Noah didn't want this to _be_ like any date that Puck been on before. For once, he wasn't just looking to get into some chick's pants. Even if Kurt _had_ been a girl, he wouldn't be trying to get into his pants. He wanted to take things slow. He wanted to do things right.

And not only because Burt was quite capable of murdering him and hiding his body.

He was the one driving that night, because the first stop was a surprise for Kurt. Once they got into the Navigator, Noah turned to Kurt with a shy, questioning look on his face. "Kurt, do you trust me?"

There was no hesitation before he answered. "Yes. Absolutely." Then he gave Noah an evil grin. "If you do anything, dad'll shoot you."

Noah held up a black silk scarf that he'd taken from Kurt's extensive collection. "Wear this as a blindfold for now, please? I have a surprise for you, but you'll know what it is before we get there if you don't wear it."

Kurt simply took the scarf and tied it over his eyes, being careful not to mess up his hair. Noah surprised him with a quick kiss before starting the truck and pulling out. Ten minutes later, he parked and gave Kurt permission to take off the blindfold. He looked out the window and gasped in shock. "The theater is doing Wicked? How the hell did I not hear about this? How... how did you know I liked Wicked?"

"You mean other than the fact you nearly murdered Rach to sing Defying Gravity? Before you deliberately blew the competition, of course. The fact that you've mentioned the show about a million times? Or the fact that Finn told Rach I was taking you out, and she called and threatened me with a slow, painful death if I didn't bring you tonight?"

Kurt leaned over the seat and pulled his head down, giving him one of the best kisses he'd ever had in his life. He let out a groan before pulling back. "Princess, I'm trying very, _very_ hard to be good, and kissing me like that doesn't make it easy."

Kurt smiled and gave an evil chuckle before climbing out. Noah hurried around the front and had to fight not to kiss him again. He knew the chances were low that anyone at a _theater_ would know him, but he wasn't quite ready to come out of the closet yet.

He pulled out the tickets and showed them to Kurt, who let out an excited squeal when he saw they were dead center in the second row.

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**Two And A Half Hours Later**

They left the theater completely stunned. Happy but stunned.

"How... How could she get a role like that and not tell me? How, Noah? She was amazing, of course, but how could she not tell me? I talk to Rachel almost every day about stupid things that Finn does, and she never said a word."

"I've heard Rach ranting about Elphaba before... and how amazing Idina Menzel was in the role. I think she did a great job. Definitely better than that weirdo that played Glinda." Noah snorted back a laugh. "What the hell kind of accent was that, anyway? She sounded like she was chewing rocks."

A sudden thought struck, and Kurt stopped walking and just _stared_ at him for about a full minute before speaking in a shocked voice. "Noah, do you _like_ musicals?"

The 'badass' teen smiled shyly and looked down at the ground, kicking at a small rock. "I... Hell, how to explain... _Puck_ hates musicals... hates the singing and dancing and all that stupid shit. _Noah_ loves musicals... _because_ of the singing and dancing and all that stupid shit. I spent so long being Puck to protect myself, you know? God forbid my mom would have found out that I like the damn things. She made life hard enough as it was."

Glancing around to make sure nobody was looking, Kurt stretched up and gave Noah a quick kiss. "Well, in that case, it's a good thing that I'm dating Noah then, isn't it?"

Noah waited until they were in the Navigator before speaking again. The small, scared voice was something Kurt had never heard from Noah _or_ Puck. "I... Umm... About Puck..."

Kurt smiled and reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together and giving a tight squeeze. "Noah, I understand. I _am_ very smart, you know." He gave his brilliant, mega-watt smile, and Noah relaxed a little. "I know you'll still have to be Puck sometimes. We're both actors in public, whether we want to be or not. You'll still have to be an ass sometimes, and I'll still pretend to be an 'ice-queen' as you so politely said it once. Just... promise me one thing, ok?"

"Anything, Princess."

"Don't be Puck unless you have to. Noah is such a great guy, and I want the world to get to know him."

Before the words had even really left his mouth, Noah had pulled him across the seat and into an incredibly tight hug before bending down and giving him one of the softest kisses ever. Noah started kissing him everywhere, soft, feather-light touches on his cheeks and nose and eyes and everywhere else he could reach. There was something so sweet about it, but at the same time it was so frantic and heartbreaking, like he was afraid Kurt was going to kick him out of the truck and leave him alone on the side of the road.

It took Kurt a minute to realize that Noah was crying, huge tears just pouring out of his beautiful hazel eyes. Raising his soft hands to Noah's cheeks, he held his face in a gentle grip, forcing Noah to meet his eyes. "Noah, talk to me please. What's going on in that amazing mind of yours?"

Noah stared at him, completely frozen, before he turned deathly pale and started shaking and hyperventilating. Kurt's reaction was instantaneous. He wrapped his arms around Noah in a tight hug, pulling his mohawked head down to his shoulder, murmuring comfortingly to him as he slowly calmed down.

Once he could breathe again, Kurt gave him a gentle kiss. "Noah, you need to talk to me. You're... you're kinda scaring me."

"I don't deserve you. I really don't deserve you. You're incredible and amazing and beautiful and smart and just perfect. I'm just a weak, pathetic Lima Loser. Dad left when I was ten, and the last thing he said was that he was leaving because he couldn't stand ma and us. Said she could keep her pathetic, whiny ass babies and he'd go get a real family. Quinn didn't want me, even though we made Beth together. Ma said she doesn't want a loser fag in her house that's gonna end up being a thirty year old whore that's still living at home."

"Oh, Noah, you're so amazing and don't even know it. I'm glad your dad left." Noah looked at him, obviously hurt and confused, and Kurt gave him another gentle kiss. "Hear me out, babe. I'm glad he left. I figured out a long time ago that he'd been abusive, but you _never_ would've admitted it, and by the time I met you there was no physical proof to call Child Services about. Finn slipped a few months ago and said something that confirmed it. You're better off without someone like that in your life. You're so, so much better than him. I've seen you at your worst, remember? Even when you were bullying me... bullying everyone... you never deliberately hurt anyone. Ever. That's not the type of person you are. And you'd definitely never hurt a child. Especially your own."

He paused for a second, gathering his thoughts. "Your mother is even worse, in her way. I know she's never hit you, until last week, but what she did to you is even worse. She put you in a situation where her bad decisions meant you had to make terrible, horrible, awful choices just to keep Sarah safe. I used to see the look in your eyes as you were bragging about all the cougars you'd been with. It wasn't pride or anything good. It was shame and disgust. You hid it well, but it was there for anyone that cared enough to look. Then there's Quinn, Santana, Lauren, even Rachel. All you've ever, _ever_ wanted was someone to care about you. To see the real you... to love you."

Noah stared at him in stunned silence. He couldn't get out a word... not a sound. When Kurt spoke again, it was with the most serious but kind expression Noah had ever seen.

"Noah, I want to make you a promise right now... and you know I don't break my promises. You will never be alone again. _Never_. If this doesn't work out between us... If we don't stay together, for whatever reason, you will always have me and dad and Carole at least. Even if Finn turns back into an idiot where you're concerned." Noah's expression fell, like his heart had been crushed, and Kurt grabbed his face and forced eye contact... again. "You're hearing me, but you're not _listening_ to me, Noah. What I'm saying is that, _if_ we don't work out as boyfriends... as lovers, whatever you want to call it... that you won't lose me as a friend. I _want_ us to work. I want us to work more than anything. Ok? But if we don't, I'll still love you as a friend at the very least. I see you, Noah Ezekial Puckerman, and what I see is too amazing and special to let it slip through my hands. Do you understand?"

Noah slowly nodded before a soft twinkle came back into his eyes and he smiled. "If you're going to start quoting Avatar, I'm going to have to keep you distracted anytime Sam is around."

That earned him a soft smack to his chest, one that lingered for a moment on his defined pec, before Kurt turned and opened the glove box. He pulled out a travel pack of baby wipes, and Noah had to laugh when he saw the label. "Kurt, you are the only person I know, including Rach, that would keep a pack of _organic_ baby wipes in their vehicle. I didn't know they _made_ organic baby wipes."

He smiled sadly and looked down at the package. "Before... before Quinn made you give Beth up, I found these in a store in Columbus, and bought like ten packs. I figured if she had sensitive skin, that organic stuff wouldn't bother her. I also got her a bunch of outfits made out of organic cotton. All kinds of stuff like that. I remember thinking she was about the closest I'd ever get to a niece or nephew, and I got so excited every time I went shopping. I couldn't bear to give everything to Shelby, so it's all in a tote in the basement."

"I know you'll make a wonderful uncle. They'd be the only kids around where the girls can do an oil change by the age of five, and the boys will understand the brilliance of Gaga and delights of Prada. You know what you'll be even better at someday?" Kurt shook his head mutely. "Being a father."

Kurt's eyes teared up a little at that, and Noah bent over to kiss him before pulling the wipes out of his hand. "I assume these are because I look like the creature from the black lagoon. I'm sure my shirt's a mess too. God, there's no way you want to be seen with me in public..."

Kurt smiled as Noah growled, looking down at the wet spots on his shirt. "I'd be happy to be seen with you _any_ time, Noah. Even in your 'I'm with stupid' shirt. However, being the greatest boyfriend on the planet, I have a solution. You clean up and I'll be right back."

He disappeared out of the truck, popping the rear a second later and grabbing a bag before quickly returning to the front. As he closed the door, he gently laid the bag in Noah's lap. "I was saving this to give to you on our one month anniversary, but tonight is turning out to be much more meaningful to me than any anniversary."

Knowing Kurt's taste in clothes, Noah was afraid to open the bag. Not that Kurt would ever _deliberately_ get him something he wouldn't like, but their tastes were just so different... He slowly opened the bag and his jaw dropped just a little. Inside was a dress shirt made of the thickest, softest, most luxurious cotton he'd ever seen, and it was in exactly his favorite shade of deep, dark forest green.

He practically ripped off the shirt he'd been wearing, quickly replacing it with his present, before leaning over to pull Kurt into yet another kiss. "Princess, this is absolutely perfect. Thank you."

As he was tucking it in, Kurt pulled out his cell and dialed. To surprise Noah like he'd been surprised, he smirked and spoke to the man that answered... in fluent French. "Adrian, avez-vous de ces incroyables lasagnes qui font votre célèbrité? ...Non? ... Combien de temps vous faudrait-il pour en faire deux portions? ... Magnifique! Mon compagnon et moi serons là dans dix minutes, pouriez-vous commencer à les préparer, s'il vous plait?1"

As he hung up the phone, Noah looked over at him and growled. "Fuck, that is the hottest god-damn thing I've ever heard. Just how many languages to you speak?"

Kurt chuckled as he, finally, pulled out of the parking spot. "Well, English, French, Yiddish and Creole fluently. I'm also pretty good at Spanish and ASL, and know some Italian. I'm trying to learn Japanese and Korean from a friend, but they're harder for some reason."

"Hell, I'm not even fluent in English. What are you doing dating an idiot like me?"

Glad it was late enough for there to be very little traffic, Kurt turned his head to glare at Noah. "You will _never_ call yourself that again in my presence. Ever. Do you understand me? You are one of the smartest people I know. I know where you're going for math classes this fall, and it's not the nurse's office like everyone thinks. You can do math in your head that I couldn't do with a graphing calculator and a math major glued to my ass. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, Noah. Everyone."

One of the languages that Kurt listed finally registered and Noah looked over at him, confused. "Princess... why the _hell_ would you know Yiddish?"

Kurt grinned. "Mom was Jewish, and Nana Miri insisted I learn even after mom passed away."

Noah laughed. "You realize that kinda makes you Jewish, right? Ma always did want me to date a 'nice Jewish girl'. Think a 'nice Jewish boy' counts as close enough?"

Pulling up in front of Francois's, Kurt glanced at him as he shut the engine off. "You know I don't believe in the Big Spaghetti Monster in the Sky, right? But, if it helps make peace with your mom, you can tell her I'm Jewish."

"Nah, won't make a damn bit of difference to her, but I'd still like to rub her face in it... Plus, it'll give Sarah a good laugh."

As they walked into the restaurant, Noah started to look a little uncomfortable. It was very upscale, not the laid-back sort of atmosphere he was used to. The hostess came hurrying up, giving Kurt a wide smile. "Hello, Kurt. It's nice to have you back with us tonight. I didn't see you down, did you make a reservation?"

"Hi, Frannie. I think that stuffshirt that's here at noon put me down as Mr Hummel. I requested the back room for tonight."

She smiled at them both, giving Noah an appreciative glance, before leading the way to the back room. As they entered, she pulled Kurt into a quick hug and whispered in his ear. "He's a cute one. You give him my number if you ever break up."

Kurt actually giggled as he looked at Noah. "No luck there, Frannie. I'm thinking this one's a keeper."

As she left, Noah gave him a strange look. "What was that about, and why did you want a private room?"

Kurt stretched up and gave him about the hundredth kiss of the day, smiling at him. "She told me you're cute, and to pass along her number if we ever break up."

He led the way over to the table and sat in Noah's lap once he was seated. "And this is why I asked for the private room. I'm pretty sure at least some of the guests would throw a fit... and I just don't feel like dealing with that kind of thing tonight. Besides, this way Adrian can give us his extra special service without everyone complaining they're being neglected. Now, will you trust me to choose what we get?"

Noah's smile was absolutely blinding. "Of course, Princess."

They stayed there, just snuggling, until the waitress came in. She didn't bat an eye at the sight, and Noah began to understand even more why Kurt had brought him here. "Hi, Wendy, I already know what we're getting. For the appetizer, we'll get the sweet and savory beignets, no shellfish, and Adrian already has the dinner order... His specialty of course. We'll decide on desert later, assuming either of us can still even breathe after. Oh, and two cokes, please."

As she left, Noah ducked his head down to nibble on Kurt's neck, making the smaller boy let out a delicious groan, before whispering in his ear. "I'm sorry about earlier, Princess. Dr Shay told me I'd probably have an emotional overload soon and break down, but I'm sorry it had to be tonight of all nights."

"You have nothing to apologize for, Noah. You understand me? I'm just glad you trusted me enough to let go..."

"I almost ruined the whole night though. I feel so pathetic sometimes, you know?"

"Noah, babe, everyone feels like that sometimes. Do you honestly think I'm always as confident as I appear? It's one _hell_ of a mask most of the time. Besides, you're one of the strongest people I know. Now, no more sad talk, dangit. We're here to have some amazing food and enjoy some quiet time together. I may love Finn to death, but he's not exactly thrilling company when he's eating. Some days I want to just give him a shovel."

Noah laughed as that brought up a memory from his past... a pleasant one for once. "Carol asked him once if he'd just like a shovel to eat with. He looked up at her, serious as all hell, and said 'Yes, please.' He was so confused when we both started laughing."

"Yupp. That's my brother. I'm so proud." Kurt wiped away a fake tear before rolling his eyes and smiled happily as the waitress brought in the beignets. He carefully picked up one that was coated in powdered sugar, holding his free hand underneath to contain the mess. With a smile, he fed Noah the little filled donut, watching his eyes widen in pleasure.

"The powdered sugar ones are from some rare lemon he imports from Asia. And these," he lifted one of the savory ones for Noah to try, "are even more amazing. They're salmon... I know, not your favorite, but he might make you a convert."

Noah let out a moan as the taste exploded in his mouth. "Holy hell, Princess. These are awesome. How did you discover this place?"

"The hostess, Frannie, is the sister of one of the Warblers. I think you've met him. You remember Jeff, the tall, goofy, blond?" Noah nodded. "He kept bringing in samples of this and that, and I finally got him to break down and tell me where he was getting such awesome food. The fact that pretty much everyone here is cool with the whole 'gay thing' is just a really big plus."

They lapsed into a companionable silence, finishing all of the salmon beignets, but saving most of the lemon ones. When the waitress brought in the entree, Kurt reluctantly climbed off Noah's lap and sat in the seat next to him. She set down two _full_ plates of lasagna, and Noah was practically drooling.

"Princess, I could just kiss you. Was Finn the one that told you lasagna was my favorite? Oh my god, this smells amazing."

Kurt giggled, the sound going directly to a place Puck didn't want excited in public. "Nope. I saw how much you even enjoyed that slop they serve at school. Adrian has won _multiple_ awards for this recipe. Mine is good... don't get me wrong... but Adrian's is just... wow!"

They were silent for a while, enjoying the wonderful food and even better company. As they were finishing, both amazed they'd been able to pack away the huge portions, an incredibly handsome man walked in with two plates, smiling as Kurt's eyes widened.

"Hey, Kurt. I figured you'd be about done by now." Kurt jumped up and hugged him as soon as he set the plates down.

"Adrian, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Noah. Noah, this is Adrian."

Noah studied the man in front of him for a second. His long, curly, dark brown hair was pulled back into a braid. Sapphire blue eyes stared out of the face of a Greek god... and he had the body of one too. Much to his embarrassment, Noah suddenly felt... inadequate. Kurt seemed to sense he was uncomfortable and sat in his lap, snuggling up against him.

"Congratulations, Kurt. It's nice to see you finally have someone worthy of you. I liked Blaine, but you two just weren't the right fit. I can't stay and chat because we just had a big group come in, but I wanted to meet your new guy." He smiled at Noah, holding his hand out. Noah slowly reached out to shake it and Adrian grinned. "Dude, take care of my boy here and I'll be happy to keep you in lasagna any time. By the way, Kurt, your money's no good here tonight... or any other night. Have a good evening... and don't do anything I wouldn't do."

With a huge grin, he turned and left the room. Kurt turned to Noah, a worried look on his face. "Noah, what's wrong?"

"Why are you with someone like me when there's guys like that out there?"

"Noah Ezekial Puckerman, since when do you doubt yourself? First of all, you're just as good looking as he is, if not better. Second of all, he's straight. And, third of all, I love _you_, Noah. Not him. As incredibly handsome as you are, it's not your body I fell for. It's you. Your mind. Your heart. I don't know how else to say it. I love _you_, Noah, more than I ever thought possible."

"You love me?" At Kurt's nod, Noah pulled him into a bruisingly tight hug. "Nobody but Sarah has _ever_ said that to me before."

Wanting to distract Noah, Kurt turned a bit and cut a bite of white chocolate raspberry cheesecake, smiling as he lifted it up for Noah to try. As Noah moaned in pleasure, he cut his own bite of turtle cheesecake. They were both amazing.

They spent the next few minutes feeding each other bites and chatting until Wendy came back in carrying a few to-go boxes. "As cute as you two are together, I have to kick you guys out. You're the last customers here."

"Thanks for letting us stay so late. Please tell Adrian thank you. The lasagna was as incredible as always."

She smiled at him and then surprised Puck by kissing him on the cheek. "You really are a cute one. You keep my boy here happy and you're more than welcome to come in any time."

Their drive home was nearly silent as Kurt drove, Noah's hand grasped firmly in his own. He was glad that he'd thought to text his father when Noah went to the bathroom, since it was definitely after midnight. They parted ways just inside the front door, right after Noah set the leftovers on the hall table and pulled Kurt into a sweet, gentle kiss.

Neither of them noticed Carole sticking her head out the bedroom door, or the flash as she took a picture with her phone.

Noah pecked him on the lips again before picking up the leftovers and carrying them into the kitchen, while Kurt practically floated up the stairs and into his bedroom.

TBC...

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1Adrian, do you have any of that amazing lasagna you're so famous for?... No?... How long will it take you to make two portions?... Wonderful! My companion and I will be there in ten minutes, if you could start on it please.

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Please review/comment. I'd like to hear ideas on what you think will be in the sequel. Besides, writers are addicts and reviews are our crack... Keep an addict happy!


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